Financial Myths: I Don’t Need to Understand This, My Partner Does

This week in our Financial Myths series we’re talking about relationships and money. Surveys find that in over half of couples one person takes the lead in making long term financial decisions and doing the day to day work of managing their finances. And that’s the basis for this week’s myth: “I don’t need to know about our finances, my spouse/partner handles that.” We’re not judging how couples divide up their household work; you should do whatever works for you. But taking a completely hands off approach of “oh my spouse takes care of that, I don’t need to worry about it” may not be the best solution. Survey after survey finds that money is the leading cause of stress and friction in relationships. If you happen to be the “money person” in your relationship you shouldn’t take it all on yourself, even if that feels like you’re helping. And if your partner is the “money person” you shouldn’t ignore it entirely, that’s taking things too far.

At minimum, you and your partner should discuss your long term and near term goals and make sure you’re on the same page with how you’ll accomplish those financially. That means retirement contributions, saving for vacations or buying a home, and even boring day to day stuff like grocery shopping and paying household bills. One person handling all of that stuff is fine; only one person knowing about it and making decisions about it usually isn’t. Money can be hard to talk about, especially if you feel like you’re not “good at it” or you or your partner have significant debt. We’ve got some ideas about how to get started here.